Having a baby changes everything

Written on 31st July 2007. D was a baby :)

Was going through a friend's blog, and the campaign by J&J called "Having a Baby Changes Everything" came to mind.

This campaign hasnt been launched in India and I wonder why? Does this insight not apply in our culture. Does life not change as much after having a baby in India as much as it does in the west? Is it possible that in the traditional Indian Joint family setup, it may not. The mother is oppressed before she has a baby and remains oppressed after. The baby becomes another tool to subjugate her. And the father remains the same man who has to show minimal invovement in his "own little" family consisting of wife and child in the interest of displaying loyalty to the larger family consisting of parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers and their families. He still remains the man who enters the wife's room after its dark! Moreover, there are so many people to help out with the child that life after having a baby is not as starkly different.

Vacation - back to back continued...

Its been more than a week since we returned and haven't got my lazy self (yes I am decent:P) to complete the post on the vacation. The happier consequence of my laziness is that minor details are already fading from memory, so this post will not be unnecessarily long from 'just-back-from-holiday-enthusiasm'.

Day 1
After freshening up (this post describes what came before this) we stepped out of the hotel to take a walk by the beach. The Beach Road, as it is popularly called, is not really a long stretch. Man, was it crowded! I think the whole of Pondicherry descends on to this road on Sunday evening. Just as we got there we saw some sort of excitement near a statue of Mahatma Gandhi. It was a band. A band played and marched past the statue exactly at 7:30pm. I think they have it every Sunday. It wasn't really a spectacular show or anything but we felt good to be part of a ceremony.


After negotiating our way through the crowd we went to Hotel Promenade for dinner. They have two restaurants - one at the ground floor and the other one called "The Lighthouse" at the top floor. As soon as H heard "The Lighthouse" his eyes lit up. He was like this kid with a key to the toy store and walked to the lift as soon as a kid acting like a gentleman can. Fun eating inside the lighthouse, right? Wrong. Not in this lighthouse because the restaurant is really just a rooftop restaurant by the sea. The lighthouse is the next building and that too is a non-functional old one. Were we disappointed and was it hot!! The food was good though.

After dinner we went to a book sale near our hotel. This is where metaphors become real. H actually was a kid in a toy store. So many books at throwaway prices! D was acting up there as she was sleepy and I am not exaggerating when I say that I had to call out to H five times to drag him out of the place.

Day 2
D woke me up early. I tried to keep her occupied with toys in the bed for quite sometime but relented just in time to save my eye from being plucked out of the socket. Yes she is a peaceful loving child! I took her out to enjoy the 200 hundred-year-old tree in the courtyard. The lady at the reception (lets call her R) came over to play with D. After some coo chi cooing the conversation went like this:

R: John uncle will come down now. You want to talk to him?
D: Goo...gooo...froooo.....(a lot of spit blown in the air)
Me: (Wondering when D made friends with this waiter called John)
R: You want to say hello to John uncle
D: Goo...gooo...froooo.....(again a lot of spit blown in the air)
Me: (Smiling beatifically at the sweetness of my child)
R: You want to take photo with John uncle?
D: Goo...gooo...froooo.....(again a lot of spit blown in the air)
Me: (Wondering why would D take a photo with John the waiter and then realizing that something was amiss.) Are you talking about John Abraham?
R: Yes.
Me: (Doing a little dance in my head) Arre...I want to take photo with John uncle.

I dashed inside the room to tell H to come out soon. But before he could John Abraham came down from his room and went for his shooting. D and I met him and also took photo. Oh I am completely star struck!

The major excitement of the day over, we had a leisurely breakfast in the courtyard and lazed around all day reading and playing with D. In the evening we went shopping. We were told that Casa Blanca and Titanic are good place to shop for western wear. There is also a Hidesign seconds outlet. We went to all three and liked Titanic the best. Was also told that Pondicherry is famous for cotton materials and that Nehru Street is the place to shop for that.

We sat by the beach for all of five minutes on our way back. Those five minutes will be imprinted on my mind forever (even if they don't I have it here on my blog). The look of delight on D’s face is indescribable. I don't know if it was the cool breeze or something else that caught her fancy. She just wouldn't stop smiling. And with her eyes crinkled up and all, her delight was infectious. So, for five minutes we were three delighted people on the beach.

Day 3

Went to the Sri Aurobindo Paper Factory (this is in the Pondicherry town itself). They sell stuff there too. Lovely things.

After this we went to have lunch at Satsang. It was recommended in the Lonely Planet as a place to try the French cuisine. We didn't find the food too great.

In the afternoon we visited Auroville. Saw the Matrimandir.
The Matrimandir at Auroville

It was nice but it was so hot that we just wanted to escape to the comfort of our air-conditioned car. Yes we are completely Auroville-unworthy.


Day 4

In the afternoon we drove to Mahabalipuram. The drive is lovely and roads excellent. Reached Mahabalipuram in two hours. Called up a few places for accommodation on the way. After having lunch at Taj Fisherman's Cove, we checked out the Golden Sand's resort and then went and stayed in the Mamalla Beach Resort. Its a well kept place with a nice beach and a restaurant by the beach. The tariff was Rs 1200/- for standard room and Rs 1700/- for deluxe. The food was also alright.

Day 5
We left the resort late morning. The plan was to visit the Shore Temple and the Panch Rathas and then proceed towards Bangalore. We did visit these places and loved them but we were just short of getting toasted. It was so hot! Really rued not getting out early to see these places. They really deserved much more time than we gave them. The Shore Temple is an aesthetic masterpiece.

The Shore Temple at Mahabalipuram

We drove back from Mahabalipuram to Bangalore via Kanchipuram. Again the route is lovely and roads excellent. We had lunch at GRT Regency at Kanchipuram. Good food and great service. The drive from Mahabalipuram to Bangalore took us about six hours and was thoroughly enjoyable.

So this was a lovely vacation. As was the short getaway to Kerala the week before. Oh how I love travelling for leisure! And all those marketers probable have something when they claim that vacations bring families closer. Its simply the quantity of time the family spends together without any distraction that does the trick. To top it is the joy of discovering new things together, eating good food and generally being happy. And being happy I think is a habit. D definitely got so much more comfortable with H as a result of all the time he spent with her during these breaks.

We loved both Pondicherry and Mahabalipuram. Pondicherry for its definite colonial French impressions, white buildings, laid back pace to life (we found the roads in the French quarter almost always deserted), short distances and Mahabalipuram for the lovely relics and the beaches. Would love to go back.

Some random test

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to relate to and understand others. Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel. You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations. A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict. You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Vacation - back to back

Gasp..Admire...Envy.. We took a vacation yet again. This was a more planned one. H took a week off and we decided to drive to Pondicherry.

The drive was wonderful. The roads are mostly good, and it didn't feel long at all. We were planning to take the Bangalore-Hosur-Krishnagiri-Chengam-Tiruvannamalai-Gingee-Tindivanam-Pondicherry route.


We set out at 8:30 am from home. We also inaugurated the car seat. At this point, I must stop and gloat over my wonderful daughter. This was the first time she sat in the car seat and we were expecting that she would refuse to sit in it. But there was no fuss at all.

We stopped at Konark at Residency road for a drive in breakfast. After that we drove on till Tiruvannamalai where we stopped for lunch. After asking around we stopped at Aryas High Class Restaurant. Don't understand the concept but there was no class at all in that place. D as usual put on her "please say hello to me.." look for all the waiters. It has reached a point where I have to request the waiters, lift-men or any other person helping us with anything anywhere to talk to her. She looks so longingly at them.

Tiruvannamalai has a huge temple. We drove around it. The very scale of it is impressive. After TV we drove continuously to reach Pondicherry a little after 4 pm.


At this point we had no reservations in any hotel. We vaguely knew where we might stay but we didn't know where that place was and didn't have the phone number. But we had the Lonely Planet (Yes, we are like that only!) that had the address of Pondicherry Tourist Centre. So we went there and got the address, maps etc. Getting to the hotel wasn't difficult as Pondicherry is very small and the streets (and maps) are well-marked.

Our hotel was Le Dupleix.


It was the Governor's house during the British Raj. It has been renovated and transformed beautifully into this boutique hotel. We fell in love with this place and the hotel staff fell in love with D. She was immediately plucked out from my arms and we were advised to go and rest. Fearing a meltdown I hovered around to recover my daughter from loving arms and we went into our room.

Our room was lovely and I wanted to jump up and down and squeal,"Its so pretty" but the porter was explaining how to make coffee and I had to be content just looking at H with very bright eyes. The room was duplex (No thats not the reason for the name of the hotel, thats named after a Governor) one - with the bathroom and a sitting area (with red-oxide flooring!!!!!!)downstairs. Winding wooden stairs took us to our bedroom. I got so many ideas for our house from this room. Oh and yes yes; the bathroom! It was red. That stole my heart right away. The bathing area was right in the middle of the bathroom and you had to climb down 2 small steps to get into it.


.....to be continued.....

I don't want to talk to you!

These days one of my major concerns is that D will be really slow to learn to talk. This because I feel I don't talk enough and there is no one else with her all day. Rest of the time when there are other people in the house - well brevity is a virtue!

So I am consciously making an effort to talk to D. She intently looks at me when I am making funny faces and noises. The moment I start talking to her, she does a "Hmmmm" and looks away. Sigh!!!

Vacation at last

So after a year and a half we finally managed to take a vacation. For full 3 days in lush green Kerala. The Husband (henceforth referred to as H) read about the Chambakulam Boat Race in Kerala in one of the in-flight magazines and since we live by the book and do things that are written in books we had to see this boat race. So calls were made, flight bookings done and we were set for the first vacation of the Daughter's (henceforth referred as D) life. My friend from from Kerala told us of this resort near Allepey called Keraleeyam which, according to him, was awesome (on further probing the awesomeness had a lot to do with the cottages having open bathrooms).

Keraleeyam is a very pretty and cozy place. Not too big. Though it was huge for us as we were the only guests there. Off season you see. Though we would have liked not to feel like morons who have no idea when to holiday, it was a blessing as we got great service and D received a lot of attention by all the staff. She in turn put on quite a show, cooing and gurgling to all and sundry (yes H, this is a good word to use here and it is used in common parlance - there again!), extending her arms to be picked up by strangers.


This is the cottage we stayed in.

The food was extremely good. They do not serve pre-prepared food so you have to give your order at least 2 hours in advance. The Kerala preparations were really yummy. Unfortunately there aren't too many of those on the menu. The other preparations are quite interesting. We ordered egg-chilly one night. I didn't know in Kerala egg bhurji adorned with curry leaves becomes egg chilly.

The boat race was good fun. Everyone was out there to have fun and there was a lot of energy and music all around. Guess a lot of it had to do with ample liquor consumed. Whatever it was, the atmosphere was quite infectious and you suddenly felt uplifted. The snake boats with numerous rows of men dressed in white looked awesome. On each boat there were some 5-6 people standing in the centre cheering the rowers. They packed in so much energy and enthusiasm in the cheering. A lot of old men in the cheerleaders. Loved the rhythm in the rowing and cheering.I was delighted to spot 2 women teams too. I later learnt from the newspaper that they were participating in an exhibition race. Sigh!

Some observations:

1. D is very social as mentioned above. She also loves books or just likes the taste of paper. She would discard all her toys and attack whatever we were reading.
2. Once you have a baby, you can spend the entire vacation without reading a book.
3. Not everyone has the appetite for an open bathroom.
4. When you are in the bathroom and the water runs out, its not enough to shout out "There is no water" to husband. You need to say, "There is no water. Please call the reception so that I can get water in the bathroom. This will help me complete my bath." Anything less specific and you may come out of the bathroom minutes later to find your husband engrossed in his book. When you express your disbelief you will learn that husbands wait to discuss the situation at hand before they take action!
5. A showroom of GM cars can be poetically called GeeYem Motors (P) Ltd.
6. When a Mallu friend tells you that it can get cold in Kerala during monsoons, don't rush to pack 10 sweaters for the family. What he actually means is that there will be some breeze which will partially dry your perspiration!
7. Why is it so difficult to get tender coconut water in Kerala? It really beats me but we didn't manage to get it even once during are 3 day stay.